iPhone 16 is officially debuting today, but I’ll be waiting for the iPhone 17. I’m no fool, and you shouldn’t be either. The iPhone 16? It’s a device that’ll have the hardcore Apple enthusiasts cheering and opening their wallets, but let’s face it—it’s not really that special, unless you’re gripped by serious FOMO or your current phone’s seen better days after a wild night out.
If you’re excited about a “redesign” (and I use that term VERY loosely), you’ll be pleased to hear that Apple’s made some clever adjustments to the camera on the back. There’s also a snazzy new action button, poached from the Pro models of 2023. Oh, and more colours. Absolutely brilliant, right?
Software before hardware
What’s the iPhone 16’s so-called “selling point” this year? It’s all about the software, not the hardware. But don’t get your knickers twisted—it has nothing to do with flashy gimmicks like the notorious Dynamic Island attempting to make trivial things look useful. No, no. This time, it’s the Artificial Intelligence (AI) that Apple wants to showcase. Sure, they’re fashionably late, but here they come barging in like they own the joint.
Let’s be honest: Apple’s embedded this AI business into its devices for ages with the Neural Engine, but it’s only now that they’re trying to flaunt it as if it’s something brand new. It’s like a lad finally hitting the gym after years, then sharing his ‘transformation’ pic after just a week of protein shakes. Chill out, mate.
Apple Intelligence and the EU directives of terror
So, Apple dropped a massive announcement at WWDC 2024 with the launch of Apple Intelligence. AI features as far as the eye can see—automatic message and email summaries, making Siri smarter (about bloody time), AI photo enhancements, and plenty more. Fantastic if it actually functions for everyone.
But here’s the twist: if you’re outside the States or don’t speak American, well, good luck waiting for Apple Intelligence to arrive. Apple’s doing its usual gatekeeping routine and won’t even be fully rolling it out until the end of next year, particularly for us unfortunate EU folks grappling with the Digital Markets Act (DMA).
Apple claims it’s all about security and privacy issues in the EU, but we all know that’s just code for “we can’t be bothered yet.” Makes you wonder when we’ll get our hands on these features and not be left in the dust by Google Gemini or Samsung AI acting superior.
Pretty uninteresting in the EU
Here’s where it gets incredibly dull for us in ol’ Blighty and the rest of the EU. Without Apple Intelligence arriving in local languages—expecting that sometime in 2025 at best—the iPhone 16 isn’t exactly wowing anyone here. Besides perhaps the more vibrant casing, you could easily stick with your iPhone 15, 14, or for the true budget-savvy Geordies, still rock an iPhone 13. Same old, different year.
The new iOS 18 features that’ll filter down to older models don’t include Apple Intelligence. So, yep, the iPhone 16 feels more like a “meh” than a necessity for most of us.
Better to wait for the iPhone 17
Let’s get straight to it, shall we? If you’re using an iPhone 15 Pro, or even something a tad older that’s still performing well, don’t waste your cash on the iPhone 16. It’s not worth it, unless you have a penchant for shelling out for small upgrades and shiny new buttons that don’t change much.
As for me? I’m skipping this one. I’m counting on the iPhone 17 to bring something a bit more thrilling—maybe it’ll finally have the full set of Apple Intelligence functioning outside the US by then. And if it doesn’t, well, I’ll be right here next year, probably saying I’ll wait for the iPhone 18 instead. Classic.
Summary – iPhone 16: Not today, Satan
In short, the iPhone 16 is like buying a pint glass with a posher label—it still holds the same brew, but you’re just showing off to the mates. Save your cash, stick with your current device, and wait for Apple to actually serve up something worth getting excited over. There’s nothing here that will leave you wishing you had upgraded.
And if you’re one of those who just can’t resist the shiny new thing RIGHT NOW, well… go ahead, mate. Your wallet, not mine.
