Security Overhaul: Not Your Typical Day at the Office
“And um… what are you up to?” the Security Chief demands, barging into the Security office just as I’m heading for the door, PC under my arm. “Just returning this to the office to archive its contents and then restore it to factory settings,” I respond. “It’s company protocol when someone has been… terminated.”
The Big Clean-Up
There’s been a significant overhaul in Security – as many changes as there were personnel on the team. It seems that indulging in pastries and binge-watching questionable pirated movies isn’t quite what security professionals should be doing. Additionally, the mystery of the missing boardroom drinks has been unraveled, after HR discovered a heap of empties in Security’s overflowing recycling…
With an unusually swift response from HR, an entirely new security team has been assembled, headed by an eager rookie – currently blocking my exit… Excitement doesn’t even begin to describe it. He first isolated Security’s internet feed, creating proper firewalls. Then, he initiated a scheme to monitor who’s leaving the building with what – turning laptop users into grumpy felines.
Confrontation with the Security Chief
“Oh, I don’t think we need to erase it,” he comments, reaching for the PC I’m holding. “Honestly, we don’t know what’s on this device,” I reply. “Malware, sketchy films, even adult content. We need to play it safe – it’s better for the Company if we start fresh. We might even discard it, just in case.”
“Sure,” the Security Chief agrees, “but that machine appears brand new. Still has the stickers and all! Looks high-end. I believe we can manage it. I’m quite knowledgeable about IT security – let me handle…”
“I think HR should make the call on this,” I retort. “Better safe than sorry, you know?”
He raises an eyebrow, bluff called, and reaches for his phone. “I’ll contact HR for you, but I doubt they’ll lose any sleep over it.”
“They ought to,” I assert. “If there’s malware on the recovery partition, it’ll just resurrect when you restore it.”
“I value your concern,” he replies, finally taking the machine and stepping aside.
Back at HQ
As anticipated, trouble brews in the distance. The new Security team has more energy than you’d find at a CrossFit event, all vying for that second-in-command position.
The Boss is present when I get back to HQ. “Just received a call from Security. Something about you attempting to… move… a machine?”
“Yes, I intended to wipe and reset it,” I reply.
“Couldn’t you just do it there?”
“Safer to reinstall in the DMZ area – just in case there are any nasty bits lurking around.”
“Right. Well, their chief seemed sure he had it under control,” the Boss shrugs. Must be one of his talents, discerning tech issues in just two minutes – along with his skill in locating kebab stands at farmers’ markets.
Mission: Outwit the Rookie
“Alright,” I say, regrouping at HQ. “Everyone set?” The PFY nods. The aspiring 2IC nods. “Security types often take the obvious route,” I add, “like noticing someone leaving with a PC. Instead of assuming theft, perhaps they should consider whether the person even brought it in the first place.”
The 2IC hopeful ponders this silently. “And celebrating a success? Upgrading your machine with something new might seem clever – but if it has an infected operating system, you’re finished.”
Just then, “Ooh, we’re onto something!” the PFY beams as his machine pings.
“Give it half an hour,” I suggest to the aspiring 2IC, “let the chaos unfold before heading downstairs. Then, perhaps inquire about why your network’s acting up.”
“And that’ll get him fired?” the hopeful asks.
“Oh, it’ll stick, especially when you discover a stash of Company laptops in his trunk,” the PFY grins. “Take HR with you.”
“Why’s that?” the future Security Chief wonders.
“One of the laptops belongs to the Head of HR…”
Summary: Rookie Attempts, Chaos Follows
Title Tag: Office Tech Tango – Security Edition
So there we go – another day, another office drama narrative. New Security, new chaos. Perhaps next time they’ll think twice before tangling with a seasoned tech whisperer and his reliable PFY sidekick. But hey, it does keep things engaging, doesn’t it?
