Can It Operate in SQL? A Tech Enthusiast’s Narrative
Can you believe it, everyone? “Can it operate Doom?” has transformed into an intriguing topic regarding databases, thanks to Lukas Vogel, the genius who adapted Doom’s core and visuals to SQL. We rewind to 2025, when I documented this whizz’s initial attempt. It was clever, yet it resembled 3D Monster Maze more than the beloved 90s shooter we all cherish. I cracked a joke back then, “If making SQL tackle the rendering pipeline is a ‘poor notion’, I’m eager for a genuinely silly one.” Here we are now, with SQLDoom on our doorstep.
The SQLDoom Expedition
This Vogel fellow wasn’t about to let people on Hacker News ridicule his creation, claiming it felt too much like Wolfenstein. So, Vogel intensified his efforts, integrating Doom’s entire game logic and renderer into SQL, utilizing CedarDB to manage the demanding tasks. Python merely manages the timing, keyboard input, and bitmap visualization. Everything else? Just SQL sorcery.
In his blog, Vogel established the foundational principles: this time, it had to resemble true Doom. He insisted that the rendering be entirely SQL, with the SQL output being merely a table or a bitmap encoding precise RGB values for each pixel. And indeed, the game loop’s SQL as well.
Vogel’s Insights and the Genuine Article
Vogel exclaimed, “I was absolutely thrilled to discover that porting the genuine Doom was not just achievable but also surpassed my previous basic version! And you know what? I even found myself enjoying it in my spare time.” He aimed for it to be a tech demonstration, but it genuinely feels like the authentic Doom, without a single line of shared code from current ports. And he even managed to get deathmatch operational. Great guy!
Vogel believes it’s entirely playable on his laptop (a cheeky Ryzen 7 7840U), and you can even engage in multiplayer fun online through EU and US servers. We noticed the server performance was a tad unreliable, but that’s probably more a result of the servers than the port itself. Who would have imagined a few years ago that SQL could achieve all this, right?
CedarDB’s Special Feature
This entire venture is, in part, an homage to the formidable CedarDB—a compiling database system converting intricate queries into machine code. Hard not to share Vogel’s enthusiasm, especially when witnessing Doom operating within a database. Far more enjoyable than yet another silly online shop demonstration.
Conclusion: Doom in SQL? Just for Fun
So, there you have it, everyone! SQLDoom is a tangible reality, and it has left me astounded. In the realm of extraordinary tech antics, it’s an undeniable triumph. Just keep in mind: next time someone questions, “Can it operate Doom?” you might just respond, “Certainly, and in a database, as well!”
